Unsure
by s.kyflyx
Summary: Jeremy is now happy with the girl he loves, but when something else happens, he can't help but feel unsure about who he is. Unsure about who he should be.
1. Apple

**Apple - 19/05/2019**

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"I'm leaving!"

"Have a good day at school, son!"

Jeremy closed the door behind him and walked down the road to the bus stop down the road, his hands stuffed into his pockets. It had been a few months - three, actually - since the play, since he had asked out Christine. He didn't like anyone mentioning the play, although most people didn't know what actually happened. Only he, Michael and Christine had known what had happened, but Jeremy also told Rich about it too.

The bus stopped in front of Jeremy, and he boarded it, taking his usual seat near the back. He put his bag between his legs on the floor and leaned his head on the window. Having the Squip in Jeremy's brain, and then having it shut down, was an emotionally and physically scarring experience. He still often got shocks, which weren't that very painful, but he still hadn't gotten used to them. They caused him to jerk at random times, and sometimes they had happened at school, but the students and teachers just treated it as an anxiety attack. He had only told Michael what they actually were, and Rich would've been able to work it out. The effects of the Squip lead him to do things that he never thought he would do.

Soon, the bus stopped near the school, and Jeremy grabbed his backpack - still with "Boyf" written on it in permanent ink, thanks to Rich - and he hopped off of the bus, along with other students, and walked towards the school building.

Jeremy enjoyed school a lot more now that he had more than one friend, and didn't need to worry about Rich always picking on him, although he still felt a bit nervous around him after the months of bullying. But he still had the feeling that people talked about him behind his back. He knew that they didn't know, but they could be talking about how foolish he was for getting a Squip, and almost destroying the whole school because of it. About the lies he told just to get popular, and his relationship with Brooke, and Chloe too.

He didn't talk to the two girls that much anymore, but over the two months since the play Jeremy had noticed that they were getting closer.

Jeremy stopped by his locker to get his maths book, and then walked down the corridor to his classroom, just as the bell rang.

**/**

Three pieces of homework? In four periods? Jeremy leaned his head against his locker door in frustration. To make it more annoying, they were all due for other lessons in the week, and he doubted he would be bothered enough to actually do them on time.

He opened his locker to grab his notebook, and as he tucked it under his arm to close the door, it was slammed shut.

"Jesus Christ!" Jeremy jumped then nervously turned around to face the person he knew did it. "H-hey Rich?"

"Still pretty nerdy, huh, Jeremy?" Rich folded his arms and leaned against the lockers. "A-anyway, I got a question."

Rich looked down and inaudibly mumbled to himself.

"I, uh, what?"

"Is... headphone nerd single?"

"Um, uh, yes?"

"Cool."

Jeremy was about to ask why he wanted to know, but before he could question him, Rich grabbed him by the front of his shirt, bringing him down so they were face to face.

"Don't you fucking dare even think about mentioning this to anybody else! Do, and I will-"

"Okay, okay! I won't"

The pair suddenly froze as they heard the bang of a locker door shutting behind them. Michael casually stolled past them, too busy staring at his phone to notice them. Rich pressed a hand to Jeremy's face, ignoring his glares as he watched Michael walk past. Jeremy was by no means an expert, but judging from Rich's question and the way he looked at his best friend, he figured that what Rich felt towards Michael was more than just friends.

Rich continued to watch Michael until he disappeared around the corner. He lifted his hand from Jeremy's face and, before Jeremy could say anything, walked away. Jeremy shouldered his bag, and joined the stream of students heading to the canteen.

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**707 words**

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**This fic and the interaction between Rich and Jeremy was inspired by a mini comic made by on Instagram, and the title is also a reference to that comic . So you should defo give them a follow! And while you're there, you might as well follow me too ;). Also, don't expect regular updates.**


	2. Cold

**Cold - 03/08/2019**

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**!TW - SELF-HARM; DEPRESSIVE THOUGHTS - TW!**

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Jeremy stared at his reflection in the mirror, staring at his face. He didn't deserve someone like Christine. He wasn't good enough for her. He wasn't good enough for anyone.

He blinked and began to jump back, but was stopped by his reflection reaching out of his mirror, wrapping its hands around his throat. Except it wasn't his reflection. The Squip tightened its grip and Jeremy gasped and his eyes widened.

"S-stop! Stop!" Tears started falling down his face. "Please."

_I'm not doing anything. You need to learn to control yourself. I'm just your reflection. You're doing this to yourself._

Jeremy let go of his neck, leaning forward into the sink, sobbing and gasping.

"What the fuck is wrong with me?"

With a shaky hands, he took his shirt off and opened the cabinet, pulling out his razor. Jeremy sat on the bathroom floor, crying as he cut the delicate skin. The Squip was right. He was a loser, and always had been.

He hated that he took the Squip. He hated that he did what the Squip told him to do. He hated that he hurt so many people. He hated that he broke Brooke and Chloe's friendship. He hated that he broke his and Michael's friendship.

He hated himself.

The bathroom door opened, and Jeremy didn't look up. He sat still on the floor as arms wrapped around him.

"Michael, you have homework to do. You didn't need to come here."

"I wanted to do it with you." Michael was stroking Jeremy's hair, as the boy began to calm down. "Let's get you cleaned up, okay? We don't want your dad to find out."

Michael helped wipe the blood from the tiles on the floor, and carefully dabbed the cuts on Jeremy's skin, since they had no bandages left. He helped Jeremy put his shirt back on, and they both went to his bedroom.

"Michael, you should go home. Your mums would want you back for dinner."

"I told them I'd be back later in the evening. Besides, I'm not leaving you alone like this. Unless you want me to call Christine?"

"No. Stay."

Jeremy pulled Michael so he sat on the bed, and Michael opened his bag to get his notebooks out. "We can do homework first, then play some video games after. Sounds good?"

"Mm."

They did their homework mostly in silence, Jeremy lying on his stomach and Michael sitting beside him. An hour or two later, Mr Heere came in, asking the two boys if they wanted pizza.

"That'd be nice, Mr Heere!"

Mr Heere smiled at Michael, then looked at his son, who was still blankly staring at his notebook. "Son?"

"Yeah, sure."

Mr Heere reluctantly left the room, closing the door slowly and going back downstairs. Jeremy wasn't feeling hungry, but he could let Michael have some of his so it looked like he ate.

"Hey Jere, do you wanna play some video games?"

Jeremy looked up at his best friend and his eyes lit up with excitement. The two played the next level of Apocalypse of the Damned for half an hour before the pizza arrived, and Jeremy watched some youtube videos while Michael ate, although he tried to give Jeremy a few slices. He liked times like these, when the two were able to just be themselves, eating pizza and playing video games in Jeremy's room, or in Michael's basement.

They played for another hour after Michael finished his pizza, although he left a few slices for Jeremy. It started to get dark, so Michael left, and as soon as the front door closed, Jeremy felt lonely again.

The pizza went cold.

**/**

**611 words**

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**That got deep really quickly oops. I also forgot this existed oops. Even though I have the next two chapters already written and the next ten chapters planned? Update probably within the next week :P**

**Guest: Thanks, but I doubt you will now since it's been so long oops.**


	3. Bet

**Bet - 180819**

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"Hey Jake, I heard you were having a summer party?"

"Yeah, after school! All of you are invited!" Jake said with a wide grin on his face, addressing the table.

"Do you want to go?" Christine turned to her boyfriend. "I'll go if you want to."

"I won't go if you don't want me to."

"But do you want to go?"

"Only if you want to."

"Jeremy!" She laughed and playfully punched his arm, making his heart melt. He really did love her. "Fine, then I want to go!"

"Only say that if you actually want to!" Jeremy joked back at her and she giggled again and hugged his arm, her cheek pressing against his shoulder.

The others at the table giggled as the couple bickered, and Chloe rolled her eyes while smiling. "Get a room!" She joked to them.

Christine gave her a look and then leaned over to Jeremy and gave a sweet kiss on the cheek, and he practically died. He folded his arms on the table and put his head in them, as his friends laughed at him.

"Look what you've done! Look what you've done to him!" Michael was poking his back with a fork while Christine reached for Jeremy's hand.

When he finally recovered he lifted his head from his arms, an embarrassed smile on his face. "You're a big baby, you know that?" Christine giggled again.

Soon the they realised lunch was ending soon, so they had to leave for their classes. Jeremy and Christine walked down the corridor, hand in hand, and Christine stopped outside her chemistry class. She pulled Jeremy closer and gave him a quick kiss on the lips, smiled, then walked into her classroom.

Jeremy slowly turned around to head to his own classroom, not bothered by the bell going off.

**/**

The rest of the school year went by fairly quickly. They finished their end of year exams, and after that all they really did in class was chat and play Kahoot. On the last day of school, some people were saying goodbye to their friends, but not Jeremy, for they were all going to Jake's house for his party.

After school, Jeremy walked to the bus stop with Christine, Michael and Rich. Jeremy and Christine mostly talked to each other, which left Michael and Rich to talk to each other as well. It was only a five minute walk to the bus stop, and then another 20 minutes from there. The bus arrived at the same time as them, so they were lucky to not have to wait.

As they sat on the bus together, they started to make bets on what would happen at the party.

"I bet Jake's going to fuck Chloe again."

"Ten bucks."

"I bet Jake's cousin is gonna be pushed around a lot."

Right. Since Jake's parents actually did get arrested for money laundering, he was now living with his cousin and his parents. His aunt and uncle were away on a business trip, so it was just Jake and his younger cousin in their big house (his aunt and uncle were quite rich).

"How old is he again?"

"15."

"Right. I bet thirty bucks."

This went on until the bus stopped just down the road from the house, easily spotted by the teenagers crowding outside.

Michael and Rich walked ahead, and Christine grabbed Jeremy's arm and pulled him closer.

"How much do you bet Rich is gonna kiss Michael?"

Jeremy was silent for a few seconds. He knew it was going to happen, no matter how much a part of him wasn't sure he wanted it to or not.

"Ten bucks."

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**609 words**

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**What's this? Expensive headphones? Well you're gonna have to wait until the next part haha :) because shit's about to go down.**


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